How To Heal After A Breakup
Heartbreak is inevitable. It’s a universal experience that can occur in different areas of our lives. But when it happens in our romantic relationships it hurts differently…
The uncomfortable emotions that come up are not fun so our initial reaction as humans is to distract, not think about it, ignore it etc. ANYTHING we can do to not feel. But this tends to prolong the inevitable things you must face in order to heal.
So, how do you heal after a breakup?
Take time for yourself and allow yourself to feel your feelings:
I know this can be SO difficult but you need this time. Everyone expresses themselves in different ways so however you can best process your emotions is what you should do. Remembering that you are allowed to cry, scream, be angry, embarrassed, shame, etc. if that’s how you truly feel. Trying to go to work and put on a brave face may eventually lead to a breakdown at the most unopportune times, only making things worse. Sometimes the simplest things can break us down when we try to “push through” instead of processing. So ask for a mental health day from your supervisor, ask for an extension from your professors.
The key rules here are: no judgements against yourself at this time about what you’re feeling + do not do anything to harm yourself or someone else. If you are experiencing suicidal or homicidal thoughts or plans please reach out to the crisis hotline, call your local authorities, tell your support systems and get the help that you need. We cannot handle everything all of the time all by ourselves. Strength is knowing when you need help. Click here for a list of helpful resources.
2.Surround yourself with your support systems:
These are the times when you call in your best friend(s) those that you know will be there for you no matter what. Tell them what you need from them (just to listen, to give you a hug, to make sure you eat) give them direction and remember that you would do the same for them so don’t feel guilty. If they didn’t want to be there for you they wouldn’t.
3.Learn more about breakups:
Reading books or articles about breakups, or listening to audiobooks and podcasts about healing after heartbreaks are a great way to heal because it helps us start to remember that heartbreak is universal and you are not alone in experiencing those intense emotions. It also helps you learn how to work through a breakup and find healing.
4. Pamper yourself:
It’s important to give yourself a bit more love and attention during this time. Sometimes we loose apart of ourselves in relationships and forget the things that we enjoyed doing before we were in a relationship. So start to think about the ways in which you used to pamper yourself and start to do that again. Spa day? Um, yes! Ordering takeout and watching movies? Awesome! Going for a walk in the park or heading for a run? Even better!
5. Talk to a professional:
Find a therapist that you feel comfortable with and start processing your relationship, the breakup, your thoughts, confusions, questions etc. The therapist may not have all of the answers but they can listen and act as a 3rd party who has no opinions or preconceived notions because they don’t know anyone involved. Sometimes it’s better to have an outside perspectives at times to ask us the important questions we haven’t even thought about.
Need help finding a therapist? The amazing therapists at Exhale Counseling Center would be more than happy to help!
Need more options? Visit www.therapistsearchmadesimple.com for a list of therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists in the U.S.
You are not alone in this. And it will not always hurt as much as it hurts right now.
So embrace that pain and love are apart of what makes us humans. You will heal, you will be better for this, you will grow from this and be better for it.
