Leave It The Way It’s Been! A Blog For Those Who Dislike Change
Do you rewatch the same tv shows or movies because you can already anticipate the ending?
Do you read the plot or main points to any book, movie, show, or seminar because you HAVE to know the ending?
Is it stressful to think of how things will be in a few years because of change?
Do you constantly find ways to keep things the same?
Then keep reading as we outline some of the fears behind change and how to view change as a benefit….
3. Past emotions, memories, and thoughts are brought up
Think back to a time when you experienced your first big change…
Ask Yourself:
Where were you?
How old were you?
What happened?
How did you feel?
When we experience surprise changes it catches us off guard and we are unsure of what to do, think, or even feel. We develop our responses from how we see others around us respond. Therefore, if growing up with parents who reacted poorly to life changes whether big or small you developed an understanding of how “all people” deal with changes. Thus, begin reacting in similar manner.
4. Change = all bad
It’s all mental…. Our brains LOVE and thrive off of patterns and patterns are developed through repetitive action steps over long periods of time. And what do life changes do? They force us to learn a new patterns which takes effort (we don’t like this because it’s not easy) so we long for the past and the traditional because it’s safe, known, and predictable.
“When things change, they always turn out bad” “keeping things the same is easy” “Why do we have to change these things?” “It’s worked just fine in the past!”
Have you ever said or thought any of this? If so my friend, you are scared and resistant to change. Now that we’ve uncovered some of the reasons why we develop an aversion to change, let’s discuss how to deal with this.
How To Develop Comfort Around Change
Change is inevitable, we cannot stop it or control it for very long. Some changes are surprise changes that we are not ready for or expecting. But the one thing in life that is certain is things. will. change. So instead of trying to fight the inevitable, let’s focus on riding the wave and making the best out of these situations that arise. Why should you do this? Because it’s less stressful on you, it helps you move through the adjustment period that we discussed earlier faster and it helps your mind develop a new pattern: “we adjust to change, change is normal, change is good”.
Therefore, the next time an unexpected (or expected) change arises in your life whether big or small, implement these steps to help you cope:
Acknowledge what is happening:
Take time to sit with yourself and process what is happening, this is a good time to journal, meditate, and speak to your therapist to process these upcoming changes.
Remember that stress over the unknown is normal:
Everyone feels nervous when something new is about to happen. That is why acknowledging is important but now I want you to try to accept the emotions that arise for you. If it’s confusion, sadness, joy, anger or all four of those emotions all at once it doesn’t matter. What matters is that you’re honest with yourself about how this makes you feel and think.
Think back to a time when a change you feared turned out to be a blessing:
We projective negative outcomes all the time without any real evidence, let’s focus on using actual evidence from the past to support our reasoning for practicing change in the future. Think about a time when something changed in your life and you were initially fearful but it turned out to be so amazing and you couldn’t picture your life now if it wasn’t for that change.
Find support:
Talk to a good and trusted friend, or find someone who has experienced some of the changes you are about to experience and ask them if they’d feel comfortable sharing their experiences with you.
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