My Teen Is Depressed. What should I do?
1.Know the Signs of Teen Depression
It’s normal for teens to feel sad from time to time. Moodiness is part of growing up. But depression is different. Depression can take over a teenager’s life, making it hard to function. It can affect your child's thinking, feeling, behavior and outlook on life—and interfere with their ability to perform well in school or enjoy friends and activities. Knowing the signs of depression in teenagers can help you get your child the support they need if they are depressed.
2.Ask Questions
The first thing you should do is ask questions. Teens often do not want to talk, but they want their parent to understand them, and they are frequently afraid of what will happen if they tell their parents how they feel.
Be interested in your teen’s life and try to find out as much as possible about what she is thinking, feeling and doing without making her feel interrogated or uncomfortable.
3.Listen
Encourage your teen to keep talking. You may wish to say something like “I’m glad you were able to tell me that,” or “It sounds like you are really struggling with this.”
Ask your teen questions and make sure you understand what they are saying. Avoid interrupting them with statements like “I know how you feel,” or “When I was in high school…” Instead, ask open-ended questions (ones that cannot be answered by a simple yes or no). For example: “What has made things most difficult?”
Don't try to fix the problem yourself; just listen and empathize with their feelings. You may wish to let them know that even though you cannot relate exactly, you do care about how they are feeling and about what is going on for them. This will help create an openness allowing for deeper conversations between you and your teen in the future.
Avoid giving unsolicited advice as it can make teens feel alienated, misunderstood or judged by their parents (even though this is not intended). You might say something like: "I can see why it feels so hard for you right now," rather than a statement such as "You shouldn't worry about that."
Validate their feelings by acknowledging that depression is painful and can make one's life feel unmanageable while reminding them of their strengths and abilities to cope better with these feelings over time (and with proper treatment).
4.Find a Qualified Therapist
Your next step is to find the right therapist or psychiatrist for your teen. And while this may sound like a daunting task, there are plenty of ways to approach it. One, you can work with one of our teen specialists that provides online therapy to teen ages 15+.
Also, you can go to www.therapistsearchmadesimple.com to find a therapist, psychologist, or psychiatrist in your area.
If you want to talk with others who have had experience with therapy, online communities are a great resource. You can also ask family, friends, or others in your community for recommendations.
When on the hunt for a qualified professional, focus on finding someone who specializes in treating teens and young adults. A good fit is essential here: It's great if they're familiar with depression and anxiety disorders (which often exist together), but if they only have experience working with adults or children under 12 years old, then the relationship likely won't work well either. Check out more about our online teen therapist.
5.Be Patient with Your Teen and Yourself
The goal with this article is to provide you with tips on how to best support your teen. However, you may find that it's hard to help your teen when you're feeling overwhelmed yourself. If you are feeling anxious, depressed, or angry about what's going on with your teen and in your family, make sure you have a good support team for yourself.
While some teenagers will start to improve a few weeks after starting treatment, many depressed teens need six to eight months before they start feeling better.
You and your teen may be tempted to give up if it seems like things aren't improving fast enough. But remember that depression can be very difficult to treat—and it's not uncommon for teens (and adults) to try two or three antidepressants before finding one that works well for them. Don't give up; keep trying until something works!
